i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
