I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
worst night to have a conscience
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
