as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
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