Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
