There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize