I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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