Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
