I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
