I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
