Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
