So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
