I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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