I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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