I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
he shaved USA in his pubs
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
