I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
