I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
