on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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