Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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