I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize