did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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