mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
