New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
