I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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