So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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