If i come over, it means nothing
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
