I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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