one two three fourrrrnication!
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize