I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
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