oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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