My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
