Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
