it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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