Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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