I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
