I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
