Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
