She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
