i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
