I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
