Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
