rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
