Fuck appropriateness.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
