Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
