btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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