remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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