Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
We left an ass print on the piano.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
