Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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