i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
