Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
