dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Houston, we have a blender
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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