So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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