i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
