me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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