Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
