My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
