So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
