This house was built for laser tag.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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