even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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