Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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