Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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