we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
