just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
