If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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